I’m René and you probably signed up to my personal newsletter a while ago. If you’d like to unsubscribe, just click that link or the one at the bottom. One click, all done, no hard feelings.
Hey friends,
the year is coming to a close and I'm writing to you from a hostel on Ilha Anchieta, a former prison island in Brazil that turned a nature conservation project. The waves are hitting the beach, capivaras are grassing outside and it feels like the right moment to look back and reflect on the year.
2023 marked my fourth year in the Netherlands, the third year of Facilitator School and another year in process with many learnings. In this issue I'll take some time to converge experiences into lessons.
→ Life Update
→ Lessons Learned
→ Outlook 2024
I curated some of my favourite songs for you to read along, find the playlist here.
Life Update
2023 wasn’t an easy lift. I spent a lot of time in my head, feeling tense and relied on support from friends and family. But as the year went on even with a vulnerable mind everything started to evolve and I was blessed with many surprises along the way.
For years the bike has been my companion through up and downs and this year it didn’t disappoint. In May I saddled my bike and took the train to Zurich, through the swiss lakes over the alps to a bikepacking festival in nothern Italy. It felt like a second beginning of the year and a proud milestone.
While I was still not 100% there, Daniel was a rock at work. Together we turned the Facilitator School office into a really cozy place, we trained over 100 facilitators this year and worked with wonderful people. Seeing the progress fuelled me with energy and a gratitude for our work and our partnership.
We turned the office into a professional video studio and introduced a new format to the our live sessions, and just on the course side of things we added a mentor programme and a new module on confidence to the curriculum.
The result really cheered us up as we felt confident about the Masterclass and were really pleased with the cohort feedback:
“This is one of the most enjoyable classes I've ever taken!”
“This course is so unbelievably well-designed, instructive, and empowering”
“Facilitator Masterclass was an eye-opening experience.”
Next year we’ll continue to focus on the course but also produce more content to educate and onboard students to Facilitator School.
Aside of work I spent a lot of time with friends in Utrecht. The most difficult part of moving to another country was building community and at some point I adopted the philosophy for myself to be smart with your time at work and generous with your time with friends.
After 4 years in the Netherlands I can report this side is finally going well and I’m looking back with a smile on many neighbour evenings, friend trips and family gatherings.
I tried new things such as a surf camp with a friend, a work week in an Airbnb with old friends, a meditation weekend with strangers and a cycling weekend in massive rain in the Netherlands. Aside from that we made a big effort as a broader family to come together regularly in different places.
Lastly, next to many moments spent outside there were many moments at home in the kitchen or on the desk were I worked on my personal website which I’m very pleased to finally ship.
Lessons Learned
This year there were a couple of lessons that I learned and would like to bring together in order to keep them in mind but also to open a conversation with you.
#1: Expect Challenges, not Purpose
Since I spent a lot of time in my head this year, I often found myself feeling powerless and somewhat paralysed by thoughts like “Is this what I should be doing”, “Why did x happen to me”, “Do I identify with this?”.
A study recently showed that people spend nearly half their waking hours thinking about what isn't going on around them. That’s crazy and so true in my case, overthinking is very taxing on energy levels.
The problem are expectations, if we expect to find our sweet spot and purpose we look for a model like Ikigai to shape the ideal situation. But if we expect challenges instead, we can twist our pity party into a different perspective away from problems to possibilities, maybe even curiosity. Someone once told me worry stands and spark moves.
In 2024 I’m sure there won’t be a shortage of challenges or tragedies. If we’re able to not only overcome but expect and attune to something that sucks, I think that’s like the rainbow star in Mario Kart. When Mario gets it, he becomes invincible. In the game there’s never a shortage of challenges. Unfortunately the rainbow star in Mario Kart only lasts a short amount of time. Otherwise the game wouldn’t be fun at all.
#2: Meet people on Eye Level
We as humans have this tendency to compare ourselves on a scale. The scale determines wether we're good enough. Approval and validation make us move up the scale, rejection makes us move down. We do those equations like pro mathematicians. They either make us feel small and insecure or large and superior.
A lacking sense of worthiness made me see other people as judges, waiving personal needs to be approved by others and carefully orchestrate equations to being enough. Turns out solving those equations is impossible and playing the worthiness championship occupies a lot of mental space and energy.
This year was a very long process from feeling intimidated by others towards realising that everyone is equal. Everyone is on a process and we’re all on eye-level. Seeing others on eye-level means to give and expect respect, to embrace diversity, expression, opinion and to see others for who they are while speaking up ourselves.
#3: Strong opinions, loosely held
Given a difficult political landscape this year, I felt saddened not only by the events themselves but also by how opinion seems to isolate people. It’s not in fashion anymore to celebrate diversity in opinion wether in politics or meal preferences. We prefer looking under the fingernails of other people then questioning our own view.
Being worried of other people's judgment is no way to live, so the other side gets more defensive. And this in turn drives people apart and creates a blaming culture.
We shout diversity but don't live it, dialogue is only diverse when we allow people we don't like to say things we don't like and get curious about those opinions.
Entrepreneur and author Jason Fried recounts a meeting with Jeff Bezos, when he provided some wisdom on the subject of opinions.
"He said people who were right a lot of the time were people who often changed their minds. He's observed that the smartest people are constantly revising their understanding, reconsidering a problem they thought they'd already solved"
Outlook 2024
After giving a lot attention to the mind last year, I want to give focus more on the body so the intention for 2024 is simply a year of movement. I’ll double down on capoeira and continue to build the necessary flexibility and muscle for acrobatics.
Part of movement is also the bike, I would like to join a self-supported bike packing race for the first time to see how I enjoy the competitive side of long distance cycling. Most importantly lets continue to move towards focus, lightness and community.
That’s it for now, it’s getting a bit warm inside and I want to enjoy a caipirinha outside before the new year celebrations! I hope you’re well and wish everyone a happy new year.
Parabéns pela retrospectiva! Foi um ano muito bom e esse vai ser melhor ainda! Sucesso!!
Great read.
What a banger „ philosophy for myself to be smart with your time at work and generous with your time with friends“
This was a great first article for 2024. thanks, hope to see you soon 🙂